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Singing Genie

by Kavalier Calm

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1.
A Dime Bag of Coke 00:31
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A Dime Bag of Coke I heard your wish, so here's a dime bag of coke. I promise this blow is no joke. But either is the SWAT team knocking on your door. Were possession charges what you wished for?
2.
Bonsai Tree House 01:01
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Bonsai Tree House Look at this tree house I built for you. Yes, my friend, I furnished it, too! Plumbing, flat screen TV, a parlor for company. This home has everything you need. What's wrong? You didn't specify on size. This mini-tree house is in a bonsai. If this isn't what you meant by your wish, I could shrink you down so you fit.
3.
A Hot Shower Scene With A Conscious Being 00:46
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A Hot Shower Scene With A Conscious Being I'm one of those rare genies who can grant his own wish, and love happens to be my favorite served dish. /u/hotshowerscene and /u/conscious_being you seem meant to be, and so I wish you both a long life stitched together at the seams. Finally hotshower, you won't bathe alone with a plastic sex doll and sudsy foam. A real, thinking human will bring your name to life with one steamy, conscious choice at a time.
4.
Puppy Rich 00:56
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Puppy Rich Nice try, /u/_thats_not_me, but I heard your poem's silent plea. You're searching for a friendship that does not exist; the verse writer you speak of is not your bitch. But if you need a friend to respond to your beck and call, then your wish is granted! Here's a dog. And what do you know, this one is a bitch, and real soon you'll be puppy rich.
5.
Nothing Is More Than Anything 01:12
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Nothing Is More Than Anything "He who wants for nothing has everything." But he who has everything has a lot to keep, and there's no space for all that stuff on your island in the sun. Your home is sinking under the weight of everything; soon you'll be drowning in the sea. You should have wished for less, silly. Nothing is more than anything.
6.
The Vibrator Eye 01:13
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The Vibrator Eye I know a man gifted with a devil's look. Girls meet his eye, and they feel all shook-- down below! With one single glance, they feel a tingle in their pants. How does he do it without using his hands-- down below? 'Cause he has The Vibrator Eye. A single blink, they all moan and sigh. This super power would be one of a kind-- except he was born blind.

about

I am a singing genie who grants wishes made with rhyme...just be careful what you wish for!

credits

released June 2, 2014

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about

Kavalier Calm Washington, D.C.

Hi, my name’s KC. I write songs inspired by the things I see and people I meet on the internet. Contact me through my blog, and I’ll write a song just for you. About anything you like. Really. Don’t be shy; it’ll be fun, I swear.

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